Along
with the physical changes
the woman experiences ,some emotional take place during pregnancy.
You and your partner can use these changes as opportunities to grow
to expand your awareness of yourselves and of each other , to deepen
your responsibility, and to become aware of what millions of other
parents have experienced.
First
Trimester
Many expectant mothers spend the first trimester accepting
the fact that they are pregnant and coming to terms with
the implications. This is true for other family members as well. You
may find yourself drawing inward and focusing on the changes in your
body and on your fears and dreams. You may feel increasingly
vulnerable to danger and may also fear
miscarriage.
Even when the pregnancy is wanted., expectant parents usually
have many questions : Can we afford a child? How will our lifestyle
change ? Will we have jealousy problems with our other children
? The women may wonder will I quit work? Both
parents-to-be may feel a sense of panic at the
additional responsibilities. Ambivalent feelings toward
the pregnancy are very common in the early months. These
feelings are not bad of wrong. By acknowledging and talking
about them, you and your partner may find yourselves
better able to cope with them and to accept the
pregnancy. Facing your doubts and fears about pregnancy
aids in emotional growth.
Many couples enjoy more sexual activity during this
time of adjustments while other couples may desire less sex.
You and your partner should talk to each other openly
about your feeling to prevent pent-up fears
from damaging your relationship.
Mood swings sometimes become
more extreme
during pregnancy. You may find yourself laughing or crying
over
insignificant things. This problem is related to the
increasing levels of hormones. Researchers believe that
these hormones do not cause the moods, but probably
increase the intensity of the feelings . Some evidence
has shown that expectant mothers feel more anxiety if the baby is a
boy, but the reason for this is unknown.
Women experiencing a second or later pregnancy often find
that they are less preoccupied with the pregnancy than they
were
with their first. The major adjustment to parenthood seems to come
with a first pregnancy. With later pregnancies, women have less time
available and feel less of a need to ponder the meaning
of each physical change.
Second
Trimester
Most women find the second
trimester to be more
positive than the first as they are now beginning to feel the movements of
the life with them. Most husbands
by now have accepted the existence of the pregnancy
and are as excited as the woman about the movements of
the baby. During this trimester men frequently also
become more aware of their wives' growing dependence on them . As the pregnancy
progresses the woman may feel more vulnerable and may need her mate's attention more. She may
want him to become more involved with the pregnancy and the baby. In
addition, she may become overly concerned for her husband's safety. Meanwhile, the husbands may share the woman's interest
in the pregnancy, or he may feel an increased creative
interest in his work or hobby. He may gain weight or show
other symptoms of pregnancy. These are all ways in which expectant mothers
and fathers deal with the stresses and changes that are occurring.
It is important for both partners to be aware of
and to talk about their feeling, especially when friction arises between
them.
A woman's dreams may become very real
during this trimester and are sometimes disturbing. Dreams are a way
of bringing fears to consciousness , where they can be
dealt with more easily. Dreaming about misfortune to the
baby or to herself, or about giving birth to animals
is common. If a woman refuses to acknowledge her fears,
she may suffer increasing anxiety.
Third
Trimester
During
the third trimester, most women focus more and more on the baby, and
on labor and delivery. Both parents to be find that the search for
the perfect name has become an important pastime. They also spend
time preparing an area in the house for the baby. Almost all women
by now have accepted that they are pregnant and are able
to differentiate their babies as real people separate from
themselves.
Time
during the third trimester seems endless. Many women count on their
due date to bring the end of their discomfort and may be
very discouraged if they go a week or more beyond.
Because
of their large size, some women experience a drop in self esteem
during this trimester. They need the people around them, especially
their husbands to reassure them that they are still
attractive. You
can use your preoccupation with labor and delivery to your advantage
this time. Gather as much information about the birth experience as
possible. Read books, take classes, and talk to new mothers. However
avoid people who repeatedly attempt to discourage you from taking prepared
childbirth classes or who dwell on negative birth experiences.
You need to keep a confident and relaxed attitude toward
the upcoming event. Do not avoid your fears but at the
same time, do not allow negative thinking to dominate you , Your
chances for a positive birth experience are to a great extent
determined by your attitude. Fear and anxiety create negative
experiences.
