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Bulletins Bulletin : Published and Discussed
Date: Thursday, February 14, 2002
From: Rony Salman
Subject:
Konka’s Ferari Bhalobasha and Rana’s Omor Prem!
Description:


The following was a reply to Konka’s Ferarri Bhalobasha and Rana’s remark on the same page, however, I had to post it as a separate bulletin as Konka’s page didn’t let me post it there (probably too big a posting for a reply!)

Dear Konka, It is really nice to see you back with a nice song after a break!

Dear Rana, I believe, only immortal are those loves that have not been consummated into the happy union of the lovers but have succumbed to tragic separations (Laily-Majnu, Shiri-Farhad, Rony-.... etc. etc.)! Lovers, please don’t get mad, let me explain..... I do believe, any love is great and divine in its first stage, but once two people start living together, the mushy amorous attraction, spirit and in some cases, the degree of devotion and commitment start fading off with time!! But remember, that once-lovey-dovey couple is never to blame for this, it happens because of the complex in human characters. Human beings are of highly complicated nature and once two human being start living a life by sharing it together, their guiding traits (for love/hate/greed/humanity/...etc.) are bound to come each others way thereby taking off the sparkling scintilla of love that they had for one–another at the beginning!


People Discussion
kumropotash
(Thursday, February 14, 2002)

I don't agree with you Rony Salman! One can always rejuvenate one's relationship - whether people do it in reality is a different issue. I think people should live together with their loved ones before marriage to find out whether they will get tired of each other in the future and whether the relationship will actually work!

Rony Salman
(Thursday, February 14, 2002)

I never argued about what people should or shouldn’t do, I only mentioned how love, if not much but a little, looses its tremendous indomitable attraction once one learn through reality that he/she has to give space to her/him while sharing a life together. My point was, no one realizes that completely until they start living together! I only put up a fact, I didn’t try to inculcate any particular life style...

kumropotash
(Friday, February 15, 2002)

Well Rony Salman, I kind of agree with you then! I am saying that one should live together before marriage to get hold of the realization you talked about! And I guess we differ on the point whether one can regenerate the initial “indomitable attraction” following this realization! In my view, it is possible to rekindle a relationship.

bd_KonkaBoti
(Friday, February 15, 2002)

biyer aage ek shathey thaka aar biyer pore ek shathey thaka ek noy, kumropotash. kaajei biyer aage ek shathey thaklei je ekjon manushke puropuri bujha jaabe ei kothata thik na. ekta chele je 5 bochor ofuronto bhalobeshe gelo paagol premik hishebe, biyer din thekei se hoye jaay shamee- jaar ortho holo provu. ekta shompurno notun notion. meyeta hoye gelo-bou, hate paaye shikol. Shamee'r moddhye ki aar premik beche thaake? thake na.

it's just a matter of attitude. Biyer din thekei purushera mone kore, aahh! pawa tho hoyei geche!! e eke niye aar chinta kore ki hobe. Robindronath jemon bole giyehcilen: ghoray tola jol bhalo lage na, mukto aakash chai uraal deyar jonno.

thanks Rony! bhalo bondhu thakar anondo-i ei je, nijeke kokhono neglected mone hoy na!!

kumropotash
(Friday, February 15, 2002)

bd_KonkaBoti what you said is true but you should not make generalizations. There are people (both men and women) who don't think like that or are trying not to think like that. When you are in love with someone, the profound feeling of love usually shadows the reality (which Rony Salman talked about). The chances are high that you will see the reality and reconsider your relationship if you live together before marriage. Living under the same roof for 24 hours day after day is more likely to reveal that “premik” will turn into “provu” after the marriage than having intermittent rendezvous characterized by cravings, anticipation, fear of being caught and a host of other emotional states.

cactus of-morubhumi
(Friday, February 15, 2002)

Michel modhur ekta lekhay poresi se likhese
PREMIKA SOMOGAMI ER BOU HOLO ANUGAMI.
TAR PROTHOM BOU REBECA KA NIYE LIKHESE ETA .

pardeshi
(Saturday, February 16, 2002)

With time love only grows,maybe for some people it fades.People who fall in love learns to live with their mates imperfections.The most important thing in a relationship is to love your partner unconditionally.

kumropotash
(Saturday, February 16, 2002)

I agree with you Pardeshi but sometimes you think you can love unconditionally only to realize once you start living together that you can't!It’s better to check beforehand!

pardeshi
(Monday, February 18, 2002)

It would be nice to do that,but our society is not that liberal.People will talk about it behind your back.May be in future it would be okey but not now.We still care what people thinks about us.

kumropotash
(Monday, February 18, 2002)

In our society, divorce used to be a scandal (and it is still now to some extent)! Fear of what others will say used to prevent two unhappy people from departing! We should be respectful to existing social norms/values but accepting them blindly or without questioning is not good. Things won’t change in time automatically unless we take the initiative.

pardeshi
(Tuesday, February 19, 2002)

Even living together doesn't make you an expart about your partner.Look at the people in US,everyone here lives together before they are married.Why is it then every other marriage end up in divorce?So, living togather has nothing to do with loving someone.You feel it when you get to know that someone special and one should be able to feel that they belong together.
Bangali and Bangladeshi people fall in love after finding out how many house you own in Dhaka and how much money your family has.Thats not love,its shopping around for a good catch.Like some girls do it here in clubs,they check out your car first then you.Love should be between two souls not their wallets.

kumropotash
(Tuesday, February 19, 2002)

I agree with what you said about people falling in love for money – some people are like that. However I was not referring to “living together” that is being in practice in the US. People in the US exploit the concept of living together – they use it to justify polygamy. Their motive is different hence the outcome of living together is different too in the US.

pardeshi
(Wednesday, February 20, 2002)

You are not talking about living together in Bangladesh?I hope not.I don't think our country is ready for that yet.

kumropotash
(Wednesday, February 20, 2002)

I am talking about living together in Bangladesh but my notion of living together is not the same as the one in the US. As for whether or not Bangladesh is ready for it, see my previous posting!

bd_KonkaBoti
(Thursday, February 21, 2002)

prem dhire more jaay, nokkhotrero ekdin more jete hoy-jibonanondo.

Kumropotash, kathaler aam shotto banate chacchen?? banan. best of luck.

pardeshi
(Thursday, February 21, 2002)

Its okey to think positive but living together in Bangladesh is long long way from reality.I don't think our country has changed that much in last 14 years,since I left.Give it another 30/40 years,and hope things will change.


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