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Bulletin : Published
Friday, October 19, 2001
Subject: ~~!~~enrooooooll n change ur life~~!~~
Osama bin Laden University seeks to instill the fundamentals of terrorism in its students. Whether ya want the glorious martyrdom of killin' hundreds of infidels in an embassy bombin' or the more personal satisfaction of huntin' down a blasphemous author in a mullah-sanctioned fatwa, OBLU(Osama Bin Laden University) can get ya where yaaaaaaa want go!!!!!!!!!
If ya can answer yes to even than half of the followin' a career in terror may be for ya........
*I want to make a difference!
**I can handle a challenge!
***I can drive a truck!
****I want to wipe that smirk off George Bush's face!
*****I enjoy wavin' guns around n firin' them into the sky randomly at large rallies!
******I look good in a vest filled with explosives!
*******I want a job that's to die for!
Located in the magnificently rugged mountains of Afghanistan, OBLU's campus ranks as one of the most beautiful educational settings in the world. Miles of runnin' trails wend their way through the snowy passes. And keepin' a sharp eye out for land mines keeps fitness buffs stron' in both body n mind!!!!!!!!
Lon' a source of pride for students, the OBLU honor code is strictly enforced
All our students start off with a solid basis in the core areas of modern terrorism. By the end of freshman year, ya will know how to: lob stones effectively, burn flags without burnin' yourself......chant angry slogans for hours thanks to foot-friendly arch inserts, n much much more!
By urrrrr junior year, ya 'll have declared a major. Ya might learn to operate class "c" vehicles such as cars n light trucks. Or ya could decide to master the art of dockin' with American Destroyers on an inflatable boat. If yaaa're an advanced student....ya might even get to study at the post-graduate level, tryin' to harvest the Ebola virus from bloody, dyin' monkeys with your bare hands..........
Dean of School Osama bin Laden is the most universally recognized figure in world terror today. He has successfully brought down the Soviet Empire due to his acclaimed Jihad in Afghanistan n now is continuin' his work against the great Satan, America. With a $25 million dollar bounty on his head, Professor bin Laden must be doin' somethin' right!!!!!!!!
~~TRAVEL OPPORTUNITIES & RECOGNITION~~
Recent graduate work in New York received worldwide attention
Recent graduates have gone to such exotic locales as Kashmir, Chechnya, Tel Aviv n even New York City! What better way to see the world than on a holy mission to destroy it........
"I used to just sit around and hate Americans. Now, I get the great personal satisfaction of doin' somethin' about it"
Junior, Majorin' in Car Bombin'
"I like the idea of goin' straight to paradise n all I have to do is get gunned down while killin' Israelis. Do the math. It's a no-brainer!".......
Senior, Weapons Major
"I used to think makin' the streets run red with blood was just hyperbole. Now, I know that with a whole lot of elbow grease n just a little bit of emtex in a truck, it can definitely be done!"
Junior, Chemistry Major
"I like gettin' together with my friends, goin' down to the assembly hall n yelling "Jihad" for hours n hours. It's fun!!!!!!!!!"
Seniors can socialize with a nearby girl's school. Of course, OBLU is not just a "terror factory" From volleyball to tetherball, students enjoy a variety of social n enrichment events outside of their daily Jihad duties. Many of the friendships made at school are stron' enough to last for all eternity in the hall of martyrs.....
OBLU students also enjoy these perks:
*Graduates receive no-money down loan for all truck or boat purchases
**Free subscription to "Jihad!" - the official newsletter of the Jihad
***50% discount on all weapons purchases made at the student store
Apply today for Osama bin Laden University. Yaaa 'll get in, if Allah wills it.
Still unsure? Take our OBLU-sanctioned extension course, "the How-To's of International Terrorism," offered at a Learnin' Annex near ya...........
(akasher thikanay tumora apply karo!!!!!!)
(Sunday, October 21, 2001)
have some water..n take compleeeeeeeeet rest..
and who is this asshole daffodil, dare use sign's like mine..