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Bulletins Bulletin : Published
Date: Monday, October 15, 2001
From: Daffodil
Subject:
~*female dictionary*~
Description:


~~~~~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~~~

1. FINE
This is the word she uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is
right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a
woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

2. FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football is going to last before you take out the trash, so she feels that
it's an even trade.

3. NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

4. GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

5. GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You
will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when
she cools
off.

6. LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at
that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing".

7. SOFT SIGH
"Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men can actually
understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breath and she
will stay content.

8. OH
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Examples: "Oh, let me get
that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If
she says "Oh" before a statement - run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes
out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.
"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a
lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised
eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring
myself to write about them.

9. THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a
man." That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying
you
retribution for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often
used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow
"Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and
planned,
you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

10. PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance
to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is
that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be
careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

11. THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

12. THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to
ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you
"Nothing".
~~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~~~~~~






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