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Bulletins Bulletin : Published and Discussed
Date: Wednesday, June 02, 2004
From: BlindCode
Subject:
hi all
Description:


Description
hi people. enjoy the songs and jokes. hope you like it.

Description
"Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency?
A: Question marks"

Description
"For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, more recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus we call these bulbs dark suckers.

The dark sucker theory proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take, for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a whitewick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all of the dark that has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.

Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must either be emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem as the dark must travel into a solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus, it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.

Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim just below the surface of a lake, you will see a lot of light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach the depth of approximately 50 feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake, and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines. This generates electricity and helps push dark to the ocean, where it can be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark. When they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet; but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

In conclusion, I would like to say that dark suckers make all our lives much easier. So the next time you look at an electric light bulb, remember that it is, indeed, a dark sucker"


Description
"Mother in law

A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her ouside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then he goes back in a couple of times without bringing out anybody.
So a fireman asks him, ""Why are you going back in there?""

The man replies, ""I'm turning over my mother in law.""



Description
"


Every endless night, has a dawning day
Every darkest sky, has a shining ray
And it shines ooooon you, baby can't you see
You're the only one, who can shine for meee

It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steeeeeal the light
And wherever you may find it surgery
Wherever it may leeead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
Come to me

When your soul is tired
and your heart iiiis weak
Do you think of love
as a one wayyy street
Well it runs both ways,
open up your eyeeees
Can't you see me here,
how can you deny
ohooooooooooo
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight...
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steeeeeal the light
And wherever you may find it surgery
Wherever it may leeead
Let your private emotion come to me

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here
till your tears run dry
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight...
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steeeeeal the light
And wherever you may find it surgery
Wherever it may leeead
Let your private emotion come to me



Description
"

The Milky Way upon the heavens
is twinkling just for you
and mr. Moon, he came by
to say goodnight to youuu
I´ll sing for you I´ll sing for moOother
we´re praing for the world
and for the people everywhere
gonna show them all we careeeeeee

Oh my sleeping child the world´s so wild
but you´ve build your own, paradise
That´s one reason why, I´ll cover youuu sleeping child

If all the people around the world
they had a mind like yours
we´d have no fighting and no wars
there would be lasting peace on earth
if all the kings and all the leaders
could see you here this way
they would hold the earth in their arms
they would learn to watch you play

Oh my sleeping child the world´s so wild
but you´ve build your own paradise
That´s one reason why I´ll cover you sleeping child

I´m gonna cover my sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wild



Description
"

I had a dream that you stood right in front of me
And called to me in black and white
Though I could see you
I couldn't reach you
You faded into the light
And when the sun turns a dream to reality
I'm left with such an empty space
I feel your spirit
Know that I'm near it
I swear I can see your face

Chorus:

Hear me calling you
Calling you
But you just don't seem to answer anymore

Am I supposed to pretend I don't feel the pain
Like it happened only yesterday
No use in trying
To stop the crying
I can't make it go away

Chorus:

Hear me calling you
Calling you
But you just don't seem to answer anymore
I'm calling you
Calling you
And I'm afraid that you won't answer anymore

Where is the healing you promised me
Maybe this feeling will burn in me forever



Description
"

When superstars and cannonballs are running through your head
Television freak show cops and robbers everywhere
Subway makes me nervous, people pushing me too far
Got to break away
So take my hand now
Cause I want to live like animals
Careless and free like animals
I want to live
I want to run through the jungle
The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet
I've been having difficulties keeping to myself
Feelings and emotions better left up on the shelf
Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide
Compassion in the jungle Compassion in your hands, yeah
Would you like to make a run for it
Would you like to take my hand, yeah
Sometimes this life can get you down. It's so confusing
There's so many rules to follow
But I don't feel it
I just run away in my mind
AhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhh
When superstars and cannonballs are running through your head
Television freak show cops and robbers everywhere
Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought, now you decide
Compassion in the jungle
Compassion in your hands, yeah
Would you like to make a run for it
Would you like to take my hand, yeah
Cause I want to live like animals
Careless and free like animals
I want to live
I want to run through the jungle
The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet


Description
"

Hey Hey Hey
Here I go now
Here I go into new days
Hey Hey Hey
Here I go now
Here I go into new days
I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffeeeer
Yeah Hey Hey Hey Yeah Yeah
Here I go into new days

Hey Hey Hey
Ain't no mercy
Ain't no mercy there for me
Hey Hey Hey
Ain't no mercy
Ain't no mercy there for me
I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffeeeer
Yeah, Yeah, Hey, Hey no mercy
Ain't no mercy there for me

Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear
HA!!!

Hey Hey Hey
And I went
And I went on down that road
Hey Hey Hey
And I went on
And I went on down that road
I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer
Hey Hey Hey Yeah And I went on
And I went on down that road

Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear

Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear
DIS-A-PPEAR HUH!!!

Screaming in the background:
I'm gone I'm gone
I'm gone
Oh yeah I'm gone
I'm gone
I'm gone baby
I'm gone I'm gone

Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear

Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear
EEWWWAAA



Description
"
We're strong, we're weak, we're tired
We're straight, we're gay, we're bi
We're black, we're white, why
To tell the truth, we lie
We get so trapped inside our little lives
They disappear, before our very eyes

Chorus
So come on live it up tonight
Live it up tonight, move on
It's time we gave it up tonight
Live it up tonight

We won, we lost, we tried
Be a saint, I'm fine cos I died
I'm so sick and tired of crying
So tonight, it's time, just fly
So now we got so close
Caught up in the deal

The only thing we had is real

Repeat chorus

So we can keep it, make it real
Can't you feel

Though it hurts so bad
To say goodbye
I know my love for you
Is still alive



Description
"Check, check, check check... out my melody

Special
You think you're special
You do
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it when you laugh at me
Look down on me
You walk around on me
Just one more fight
About your leadership
And I will straight up
Leave your shit
Cause I've had enough of this
And now I'm pissed

Yeah
This time I'm 'a let it all come out
This time I'm 'a stand up and shout
I'm 'a do things my way
It's my way
My way, or the highway

Check out, check check... out my melody

Just one more fight
About a lot of things
And I will give up everything
To be on my own again
Free again

Yeah
This time I'm 'a let it all come out
This time I'm 'a stand up and shout
I'm 'a do things my way
It's my way
My way, or the highway

Some day you'll see things my way
Cause you never know
Where, you never know
Where you're gonna go

Check out, check check... out my melody

Just one more fight
And I'll be history
Yes I will straight up
Leave your shit
And you'll be the one who's left
Missing me

Yeah
This time I'm 'a let it all come out
This time I'm 'a stand up and shout
I'm 'a do things my way
It's my way
My way, or the highway

Some day you'll see things my way
Cause you never know
Where, you never know
Where you're gonna go



Description
"
Together..midnight in summer
The air's so much warmer
Falling in love under starlight
Holding on so tight-together

I won't leave you lonelyyyyy tonight
I want you to hold meeeee all night
It's gonna beeeeeeee allllllright
I won't leave you lonelyeeee, tonight

Imagine, the air filled with jasmine
The breeze blows with passion
You and me dance with desiiiiiiire
The moon is on fire, imagine

I won't leave you lonelyeeeeeee tonight
I want you to hold meeeee all night
It's gonna beeeeeee alright
I won't leave you lonely tonight

Je t'aime beaucoup mon amour
You are the one I adooooore

I won't leave you lonelyeeeeeee tonight
I want you to hold meeeeeee all night
It's gonna beeeeee alright
No, you won't be lonelyeeeee, tonight

Na-na-na...
Te amo mucho mi amor
You are the one I adore



Description
"

* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
La loo

* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the
security guard told Laloo ""WAIT SIR"" for which Laloo replied ""65Kgs""
and moved on...

* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las
Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them ""Ji could
you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas..."".
The man at the other end replies ""One second sir..."" and Laloo
immediately replies ""thank you"" and puts the phone down.

* Laloos family planning policy..
""Don't have more than two children in one year""

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,
""JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."" & the man's companion says, ""JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE."" The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, ""AND YOU, SIR?""
Laloo replies: ""LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.""

* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture.
To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of
buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for
the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS
THE CAPTION ""Laloo, third from left""

* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with
Bihar and he stated, ""Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years
and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."" Laloo was
very surprised. ""You Japanese are very inepicient,"" he stated ""Give me
three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar""


Description
"Q. Why do indian women wear red dots on their foreheads?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery
skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot.
In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives.
You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the
target....

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All
the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants.
Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our
house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride
sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see
elephants have an ""emissions"" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to
encourage ride-sharing schemes


Description
"
An Indian who just came from India walks into a hardware store and
asks to see the chain saws. Picking up one, he asked the store clerk,
""How many trees will this one cut in an hour?""
""Oh, that one will cut about five good sized trees in an hour,""
replied the clerk.

""What about this one?"" asked the Indian.
The clerk replied, ""That's an intermediate model which cuts around ten
trees.""

""And this one?"" asked the Indian.
""That's our best model. It should cut at least 20 trees in an hour,""
said the clerk

""I'll take it!"" said the Indian.
Two days later, the Indian returns to the store and angrily states,
""Hey, this saw is terrible. I could only cut three trees in one hour
with it!""

The clerk says, ""Gee, I don't understand that. This is the best
chainsaw we carry. Wait a minute while I check it out.""

The clerk pulled on the starter rope and the saw immediately activated
with a loud roar.

'Hey,"" said the Indian, ""what's that noise?"""


Description
" (Compiled from rec.music.indian.misc)

Francis Ford Cuppwala
George Sehgal
Matt Dhillon
Richard Giri
Giri Giri Peck
Charan Stone
Sindhi Crawford (okay not really a film star - maybe in Pret-a-porter?)
Ved Astaire
Sehmbi Davis Jnr
Frank Sahotra
Rehman Chandler
Ali Verhardy"


Description
"I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk?
(beech, beech = middle, middle)

Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in""!

""Why are you naat filupping the blanks ?""

Maro saale ko:: Hit the brother in law

""Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside""

""Donot smoke and spoil the botany of ur body""

""Open the windows, open the windows, let the climate come in""

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter
continue her studies or get her married :
""Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu
marry her, then marry her .""

Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams :
""Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations""



Description
"I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk?
(beech, beech = middle, middle)

Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in""!

""Why are you naat filupping the blanks ?""

Maro saale ko:: Hit the brother in law

""Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside""

""Donot smoke and spoil the botany of ur body""

""Open the windows, open the windows, let the climate come in""

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter
continue her studies or get her married :
""Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu
marry her, then marry her .""

Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams :
""Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations""


People Discussion
dgm
(Thursday, June 03, 2004)

like my ASSSS

Deeppurple
(Thursday, June 03, 2004)

I think I will..
Why not ..
Certainly ..
.

ima
(Thursday, June 03, 2004)

Blindcode don’t mean to be rude, but perhaps next time u can select ur favorite joke and post it, it u lump them all together ppl usually do not read them. Just a suggestion …. ..but thanks for ur postings.

misty
(Thursday, June 03, 2004)

ETTO BISHAL POSTING.... .....ETTO PORAR TIME NAI.. ...


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