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Bulletins Bulletin : Published and Discussed
Date: Sunday, October 19, 2003
From: ima
Subject:
Alcohol Troubleshooting .....
Description:


Few useful tips..

Symptom: Feet cold and wet
Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angles
Action: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Symptom: Feet warm and wet
Fault: Improper bladder control.
Action: Stand next to nearest dog complain about house training.

Symptom: Drink usually pale and tasteless
Fault: Glass empty
Action: Get someone to buy you another drink.

Symptom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
Fault: you have fallen over backward.
Action: Have yourself leased to bar.

Symptom: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
Fault: You have fallen forward.
Action: See above.

Symptom: Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Action: Retire to restroom practice in mirror.

Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Action: get someone to buy you another drink.

Symptom: Floor moving
Fault: you are being carried out.
Action: find out if u are being taken to another bar.

Symptom: Room seems usually dark.
Fault: Bar has closed.
Action: Confirm home address with bartender.

Symptom: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect of textures.
Fault: Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Action: Cover mouth.

Symptom: Everyone looks up to u and smiles.
Fault: You are dancing on the table.
Action: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Symptom: Drink is crystal clear.
Fault: It’s water; somebody is trying to sober you up.
Action: Punch him.

Symptom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind usually clear.
Fault: You have been in a fight.
Action: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Symptom: Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in.
Fault: You have wondered into the wrong party.
Action: See if they have free alcohol.

Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.
Fault: The drink is too weak
Action: Have more alcohol until your voice improves.

Symptom: Don’t remember the words to the song.
Fault: Drink is just right.
Action: Play air guitar.



People Discussion
Sb
(Sunday, October 19, 2003)

Subject: Alcohol Troubleshooting ....

Best tip..

Symptom: All Alcohol related symptoms/problems

Fault: ???

Action: Stop Taking Alcohol



jaceco
(Sunday, October 19, 2003)

hahahahahahaha..lolllllll nice one ima....i especially liked
"Symptom: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect of textures.
Fault: Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Action: Cover mouth. "
..lol.....
take care
jace


-Gemini-
(Monday, October 20, 2003)

Symptom: Drink is crystal clear.
Fault: It’s water; somebody is trying to sober you up.
Action: Punch him.




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