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Bulletins Bulletin : Published and Discussed
Date: Thursday, October 09, 2003
From: VanityPress

Contrition is warranted when the burden of rebuke and introspection is too much to bear. So, it’s time to repent. It hasn’t dawned on me until I’ve read Sabrina’s previous posting or the one before that and the one before the last one and the one before that one and the one before that one and the other one …and the one previous other two. Confused! Don’t be. But in any event, after all my previous indiscretions and piffle transgressions, I think it’s high time I cleanse my soul. But, is redemption an option here? Will it repair the damage that has already been done? Will it alleviate the pain and suffering of the allergic reaction or straighten a twisted face to its lovely (?) form? I really don’t know. I just hope that, at the very least, my earnest effort will be the source of some comfort to Sabrina and to those who have recently developed some sort of physical distress.

Now, the question is how do I repent myself? Praying for redemption is certainly an option. But do these trivial indiscretions rise to the level of full-fledged atonement at the shrine? I think not. Yet, my ardent desire of redemption remains unimpeded. I want to do something – something symbolic – something tangible – something that can stymie my meandering mind and fumbling fingers at the key board whenever I sit down to write for the bulletin board. So, I’ve been pondering and prodding, trying to find an easy, convenient, and yet, significant method of redemption. Taking a bath in the Ganges, shaving my head or going to a confessional were few of the ideas I have contemplated so far. Religious believe is not the pertinent issue here, what is really important is my conviction and a method that really suits me. Unfortunately no of those were my liking. So, I had to abandoned them.

Incidentally, as I was reading the NY Times, I noticed a picture, where a man was holding a live chicken over his head. And it turned out that in a certain religion (well known at that) one can swing a chicken over his or her head as an act of atonement so as to pass one’s own sin to the chicken and start a sinless life. Not a bad idea! Easy, convenient, and yet, significant – certainly my liking or so I thought. Where would I find a live chicken in this city? Would a dead chicken qualify? How about a frozen one from the grocery store – would it do the job? So many questions and very little answers. Finally, I thought how difficult would that be to locate a live chicken – a few phone calls and little driving around could surely solve the chicken hunt problem. Now that the issue of chicken hunt has been resolved, though tentatively, a more troubling problem emerged – what kind of chicken should I get – a rooster or a hen? Since passing a man’s sin to a hen doesn’t seem that manly, I settled on a rooster.

Having decided on the chicken, I shifted my focus on the aftermath. What would I do with the chicken when I’m done? Even if it qualifies as a pet, it is definitely uncivilized to have a chicken in the city dwelling. You can have other birds, but not the chicken. The poor chicken burdened with the human sins and nowhere to go. Although I haven’t had a fresh chicken roast for a long – long time, the idea of killing a chicken on which I’ve supposedly unloaded my sins seemed quite odd. Besides, animal cruelty is a punishable crime. I could always return it to its original habitat. But then again, what if he tells other chickens about my act of atonement and those others tell the others. And before long, the whole world will know about my redemption, which is supposed to be a secretive affair.

The very thought of all these what-ifs left me unhinged, so, I remain unrepentant.

People Discussion
(Thursday, October 09, 2003)

My my my..what ever next passing ones sin to the chicken. Chicken ki dosh korlo bhai, I am sure they have enough sins of their own, so u have made the right decision not to burden the poor chicken with your own sins. However, given that you are alarmed by your conscience, anxious for the attainment of a better state and rather troubled by the memory of your past faults; one can conclude that great work of repentance has already begun.

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