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Bulletins Bulletin : Published and Discussed
Date: Wednesday, March 19, 2003
From: Gemini
Subject:
Things men will never say...
Description:



1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to

explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells
the truth).

Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with
possible responses:


Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive,
dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring,
intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you!"



Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in
order, "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah, crap-loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e Who, me?



Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.



Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define pretty
e Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.



Question # 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a
Corvette and a Boat"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at
least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

WOMAN: Would you remarry if I died?

MAN: Definitely not!

WOMAN: Why not-don't you like being married?

MAN: Of course I do.

WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.

WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

MAN: ( makes audible groan )

WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

MAN: Where else would we sleep?

WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures
of her?

MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs

MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

WOMAN: - - - silence - - -

MAN: crap!


People Discussion
Sb
(Wednesday, March 19, 2003)

atel!

Gemini
(Wednesday, March 19, 2003)

bekub

RINI
(Thursday, March 20, 2003)

so trueeee

Gemini
(Friday, March 21, 2003)

Yea its true..Rini, thats why our Sb here doesnt agree!



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