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Bulletins Bulletin : Published and Discussed
Date: Wednesday, March 12, 2003
From: Sabrina
Lord of the Rings Petition - extremely serious...

Last winter some dolt posted an on-line petition suggesting that the Name
"The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" was intentionally offensive to the
memory of 9/11...There are currently about 3600 signatures, of which about
2000 are sarcastic...below is the original petition and just a smattering
of some of the replies:

To: Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema

Those of us who have seen The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring
know what an amazing director Peter Jackson is. When I learned that there
apparently was to be a sequel, I was overjoyed. However, Peter Jackson has
decided to tastelessly name the sequel "The Two Towers". The title is
clearly meant to refer to the attacks on the World Trade Center.

In this post-September 11 world, it is unforgivable that this should be
allowed to happen. The idea is both offensive and morally repugnant.
Hopefully, when Peter Jackson and, more importantly, New Line Cinema see
the number of signatures on this petition, the title will be changed to
something a little more sensitive.


The Undersigned

818. C. Hart
I think it would be best, in light of recent events, if the film was simply
not shown at all. And by "recent events" I mean 'that f***ing awful first
Lord of the Rings film'.

1076. Sigmund Wonder
Oh thank you so much for this. Those shameless money mongers care for
nothing but themselves. Baby Jesus cries every day because of them. Every
single day. Could you please start a petition to stop those fascist police
from using 911 as their phone number too? That is also something that
bothers me.

1102. Paul
They have no sensitivity; I wonąt even let my twin kids stand next to each
other out of respect for 9/11

1183. Lionel Hutz
I myself am a big Elvis fan and if they name the third film after the book
title "Return of the King" I will start my own petition...I mean why should
he return, when he clearly never left in the first place?!

1181. Lord Bunion
I think that Mr Peter Jenkins is an insensitive b@stard. He should be
deported to New Zealand or Dudley.

1177. Melkor
It is equally disrespectful that some people still have the nerve to use
matching pairs of shoes.

1172. Joseph Minkock
How about changing it to: "Frodo's Hilarious Journey"?

1207. John Boy
Scene cut from the movie:
Frodo: "Damn Gollum! Your ring is tight!"
Gollum: "Never had a problem with my ring before! Little bit dirty but
that's all"
Frodo: "Look! When I put my finger in it, it smells funny! Go on smell
Gollum: "Don't put your finger in my Precious you dirty b@stard!!!"

1225. Hammna Hurabi
I demand that the number two no longer be used!

1290. Nigel Morris
I already boycotted The Lord of the Rings because of its obvious reference
to hard, thrusting, dirty @nal sŁx. And rings.

1238. Leyton Stone
I think we should congratulate our American cousins (if this is true and
not a hoax) on achieving a higher level of stupidity. Well done! Now,
p!ss off and eat those Twinkies you fat b@stards!

1346. burt convy's n!pples
Yes, this exploitative Tolkien fellow should develop TV programs for Fox.
I say change the next movie to "honor" the event: something like "Frodo,
the Littlest Fireman."

1444. Hugh Jorgan
May I suggest the name be changed to The Double-Headed Ph@llus of Doom?

1443. olly
I'll sign anything.

1547. Huey Lewis
I was gonna tour with the Lord of the Rings but when he wanted to change
'The Power of Love' to 'The Tower of Love', I told him to "...f*** off back
to Middle Earth! And take your g@y Hobbits with you!"

1422. Ajax Cortina
While you're at it, let's ban the number 11. Every time I see it, I cry.

1405. Pass
I believe Twins should be banned from entering Tower Records stores.

1387. Ashton Kushner
I think it should be renamed "Dude, where's my Precious-s-s-s?"

1125. Max Power
What about "The Lord Of The Rings: A-Pair-Of-Buildings-That-Look-Similar"?

2554. Fred Lummox
Mister, I think you need to loosen up those muscles around your @ss! Try
yoga and a high fibre diet.

2602. William Shatner
I think Jackson's choice of title is shocking and offensive. Two new
buildings were recently constructed in my home town but we managed to have
them demolished and the offenders removed from society.

2664. Chuck Norris
We should make sure that EVERYTHING conforms to our way of life. F*%k what
the rest of the world thinks...especially the French! Do or die, yours is
not to question why!

2665. Boutros-Boutros Ghali
Chuck, lube yourself up boy! Daddy's coming home an' I need to hear that
piggy squeal!

2756. Sartre is that much smarter
The only comfort I have in this life is that sooner or later, due to all
the in-breeding that is endemic in the US, Americans will no longer be able
use keyboards as a result of extreme webbing of fingers and never again
will you be able to post sh!t like this on the web. Eventually, you will
breed youselves into a gigantic one cell organism because you can't get a
lower life form than that. Pardon me but you can - George Bush!

People Discussion
(Wednesday, March 12, 2003)

Woow....thats informative, Dr. Sab!!

(Monday, March 17, 2003)

Hey Doctor..
Shouldn't I expect some courtesy from u for my responses..?..

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