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Extramarital Relation

 

 

 

Humans marry as per social context and are supposed to stay with the mates along the life. But in reality it does not always happen as expected. Some people get involved in extramarital affairs. In most of the cases the core reason of the affair is sudden rush of physical attraction or monotony in conjugal life. It is said that nature abhors vacuum. You or your husband may have been suffering from some vacuum within, and an extramarital affair may take place to fill up the vacuum.

 

If Husband Involved : What Should Wife do ?

Though involved in an affair, the husband never thinks of breaking off with the wife. The cause is that he has a respect for his responsibilities to his children and the social institution called marriage. In most cases husbands want to be back and reconcile but fail because of shame and bitter relation with the wives. Consequently separation becomes the only way out.

In case of extramarital affair of the husband, the wife has a significant role to play. You wives can help the husbands to a great extent to be back again. 

Don't irritate him asking question  

If you are confirm about his illicit relation, you should not irritate him asking questions  like "where are you going?" or 'why are you so late ?" etc. Just try to avoid him silently. You should know that he will never tell you the truth. Rather as much he will feel that you know all and so is avoiding him, he will be ashamed for his deeds. This will be positive for you.

Avoid to embarrass him in front of  others

In this situation usually the wife has a tendency to keep him under observation in all times. So she used to phone in the places where he can be just to make sure that he is not with other girl. But this behavior makes the situation more critical. It may embarrass him before others and will minimize your dignity and personality to him.

Keep dignified distances with him

Make a dignified distances with him. Politely avoid the emotional interactions that you did before like gossiping with him in tea table returning home etc. Spend more time with children. But do not make him understand that you are raising distance and do not let him feel dejected. Such behavior  will raise his guilty feelings. 

Avoid physical relation with him

Your husband now has a physical relation with his illicit partner. In most of the time wife feels insecurity and try to indulge in sexual relation with him in spite of his lack of desire. Since this time relation with that woman  will be more attractive to him than you, your effort  will simply make you fade and undesirable to him. If he desire to establish relation with you, then avoid him in any excuse. Actually here the physical relation will not be pleasurable rather it become irritating due to mental distance. Let him understand your necessity.

Attack in his possessiveness 

By nature man is jealous. Create a sense of insecurity within him. Sometimes you can take the opportunity to go out without  letting him know where are you going. After few days he will then feel that he is loosing rights on you. He may suspect that you are also in touch with another man. Thus if you can attack in his possessiveness he may come back to you.

Don't involve a third person

You should not involve other members of the family like your parents or father and mother in law . You should remember one thing that if he does not care you, why will he care a third person ? Rather it may create a tenacity within him and distance between you two will raise.

Should not involve children

Never let your children to  know about misdeeds of their father. It will cause duet problem. 

First of all your children may be shocked  in this. They will  loose all their respect , believes and  dependency on  him. Mentally they will feel distressed in which you cannot give any solution or  sympathy to  them. Thus their  total life structure will be hampered.  

Secondly, your husband will think that you are using  children as a  weapon against him. It  will  create a malignity  in his mind which is not expected  in this  situation.

His love, not sympathy, is your desire 

As a woman never feel yourself as less important  than your  husband. Rather feel that you have no less humanity than him. You should remember that  husbands love, not the sympathy, is your desire. So, never try to get him back showing  emotion. This  type of your  attitude will give him opportunity to  think  to be sympathetic to you in lieu of loving you. 

Find out reasons for distance between you

Make yourself unpredictable  to him. You know which parts  of your personality  and characteristics he likes most and think on which is the lacking that have created vacuum between you. Try to fill up these vacuum.

Come to a final decision

If after all this endeavor your husband is not  back, leave it. There is no reason for sustaining his whim. Express straight that you want separation since you are not prepared to share him with someone else. This expression will be your ultimate venture to bring him back. If he reconciles he is yours, or else he is not. Try to endure the shock. Consider your relation with him divine one. Keep the memory in you and forget the bitter episode.

Take decision about the responsibilities of your children. Considering them you ( both )can decides just to maintain the family you will live together but no relation between you and him. But think over how long you can continue this life? 

 

In next issue: If the wife is involved: what should the husband do ?


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