marry as per social context and are supposed to stay with the mates
along the life. But in reality it does not always happen as expected.
Some people get involved in extramarital affairs. In most of the cases
the core reason of the affair is sudden rush of physical attraction or
monotony in conjugal life. It is said that nature abhors vacuum. You or
your husband may have been suffering from some vacuum within, and an
extramarital affair may take place to fill up the vacuum.
Husband Involved : What Should Wife do
involved in an affair, the husband never thinks of breaking off with the
wife. The cause is that he has a respect for his responsibilities to his
children and the social institution called marriage. In most cases
husbands want to be back and reconcile but fail because of shame and
bitter relation with the wives. Consequently separation becomes the only
case of extramarital affair of the husband, the wife has a significant
role to play. You wives can help the husbands to a great extent to be
irritate him asking question
If you are confirm about
his illicit relation, you should not irritate him asking questions
like "where are you going?" or 'why
are you so late ?"
etc. Just try to avoid him silently. You should know that he
will never tell you the truth. Rather as much he will feel that you know all
and so is avoiding him, he will be ashamed for his deeds. This will be positive
Avoid to embarrass him
in front of others
situation usually the wife has a tendency to keep him under observation in
all times. So she used to phone in the places where he can be
just to make sure that he is not with other girl. But this behavior
makes the situation more critical. It may embarrass him before others
and will minimize your dignity and personality to him.
Keep dignified distances
Make a dignified distances
with him. Politely avoid the emotional interactions that you did before
like gossiping with him in tea table returning home etc. Spend more
time with children. But do not make him understand that you are raising
distance and do not let him feel dejected. Such behavior will
raise his guilty feelings.
Avoid physical relation
Your husband now has a physical
relation with his illicit partner. In most of the time wife feels
insecurity and try to indulge in sexual relation with him in spite of
his lack of desire. Since this time relation with that woman
will be more attractive to him than you, your effort will simply
make you fade and undesirable to him. If he desire to establish relation
with you, then avoid him in any excuse. Actually here the physical relation will not be pleasurable rather it become
irritating due to mental
distance. Let him understand your necessity.
Attack in his
By nature man is jealous.
Create a sense of insecurity within him. Sometimes you can take the
opportunity to go out without letting him know where are you going. After
few days he will then feel that he is loosing rights on you. He may
suspect that you are also in touch with another man. Thus if you can
attack in his possessiveness he may come back to you.
Don't involve a third
You should not involve
other members of the family like your parents or father and mother in
law . You should remember one thing that if he does not care you, why
will he care a third person ? Rather it may create a tenacity within him
and distance between you two will raise.
Should not involve
Never let your children to know about misdeeds of
their father. It will cause duet problem.
First of all your children
may be shocked in this. They will loose all their respect , believes and dependency on him.
will feel distressed in which you cannot give any solution or sympathy
to them. Thus their total life structure will be hampered.
Secondly, your husband will
think that you are using children as a weapon against him. It will
create a malignity in his mind which is not expected in
His love, not sympathy, is
As a woman never feel yourself
as less important than your husband. Rather feel that you
have no less humanity than him. You
should remember that husbands love, not the sympathy, is your desire. So,
never try to get him back showing emotion. This
type of your attitude will give him opportunity to think
to be sympathetic to you in lieu of loving you.
Find out reasons for
distance between you
Make yourself unpredictable to him.
You know which parts of your personality and characteristics
he likes most and think on which is the lacking that have created vacuum
between you. Try to fill up these vacuum.
Come to a final decision
If after all this endeavor your
husband is not back, leave it. There is no reason for sustaining
his whim. Express straight that you want separation since you are not
prepared to share him with someone else. This expression will be
your ultimate venture to bring him back. If he reconciles he is yours,
or else he is not. Try to endure the shock. Consider your relation with
him divine one. Keep the memory in you and forget the bitter episode.
Take decision about the
responsibilities of your children. Considering them you ( both )can decides
just to maintain the family you will live together but no relation
between you and him. But think over how long you can continue this life?
If the wife is involved: what should the husband do ?