As a place

that you look with pride.....

 Dr. Fouzia Moslem 

Human relation is a complex phenomenon, whenever it is between two persons or within the family or the society. From my experiences as a woman I feel that women have to play different roles in society like men.

  

She starts her life as a cute daughter, becomes as  beloved wife and ends as responsible mother. In every stage she contributes something to the family, to the society.

 

In my opinion family relation is governed by various factors:

   

1.  Relation between couple

2.  Position of mother in family life

3.  Attitude of mother towards fellow family members, relatives and neighbors

4.  Socio economic and cultural scenario of society itself.

 

I have crossed five decays of life. When I have sat down to write about my relationship with my family members. I look back to my childhood and I can see my mother has the sole contribution in building up my personality, career and life style.

My mother became widow at the age of 30, with the responsibilities of six minor children. With the qualification of primary education and very small quantity of financial resources, she succeeds to build up all of her children as complete person. I think this is her farsightedness, courage and determination which bring success. 

She sacrificed her all capacity in rearing up her children. But her physical appearance is same like any other widow of the society. I proudly tell that if I achieved any quality and efficiency in my life then all credits goes to my beloved mother. Her attitudes towards values also influenced me. 

As much as I could remember when my father was alive, he never interfered in mother's work on family matters. My mother used to take decision-consulting (better to say informing) father. The independence allowed by my father has been exercised in right way in building up capacity of a woman having inadequate educational level.

 

From my family environment I believed she has proved that:

 

1. Good relation of my parent.

2. All powers in the hand of my mother about children.

3. Sympathetic and co-operative attitude of my mother towards family member.

4. Overall values she has maintained in her work makes her personality. The       personality that is common but to follow and to remember.  

When a daughter enters her own family, it is natural that she will follow what she learned from her mother in her family. It has happened to me. I tried to build up my family according to what I learned from my mother. But here I could not deny the change in the norms of the society over the periods. My mother was a housewife and I am a doctor in profession. So in addition to my responsibilities as wife and mother, I have also my responsibilities as a doctor to the society. 

 

My husband is a political activist. His life pattern is different from other professionals. Giti and Joya – my children, my loving daughters have now been grown up, they have started their own family. During my time, I have tried to follow some discipline for my family which may be the combination of old, and new ideas. Though my family members were busy with their own routine but we always have tried to have at least one meal together in a day. So some times for that we have to wait for some one for hours, usually for my husband. But that has helped to keep our family bondage strong.

 

Another thing that my husband and myself always tried to avoid expression of our misunderstanding from daughters. We felt that our misunderstanding might make them insecure. 

 

To meet the demand of our daughter we also took the decision jointly. Never tried to by pass my husband, some thing he also followed.

 

As a political activist daily routine of my husband was not same for all the days. But   for our daughters we have to influence them to follow a routine. They have to sit to their study at least twice in a day in morning and at evening. Usually we could not manage to be present at that time, for that from their child hood they are accustomed to be guided by a teacher during study hours.    

 

From the childhood when they learned reading, their gift items always includes some books. These books attracted them to the world of knowledge. Now it is up to them how much they can acquire. I have tried to develop the base line.

 

My daughters have to sacrifice the company of their mother even when they were sick and distress of relatives. I can to serve them only in my leisure period. I feel being accustomed with these events they have developed sense of co-operation and self responsibilities.

 

In our family we always tried to meet the necessities but was not able to follow high standard. I think my daughters received from their parent a low profile in lifestyle and reasonable responsibility. I hope this might to help them to build their attitude.

 

Always we have tried to be their guide and friend at a time. We always tried to interact within ourselves in every matter. My daughters were always free in sharing the feelings about any small and big matters, even about their friends. I feel that this will help to develop self-dependence.

 

Still now we follow some of the concepts of a joint family. Every occasion is participated and enjoyed by the presence of all our brothers, sisters and their children’s. This family unity is of great strength.

 

Lastly I like to submit that, always I have tried to make my home

 

“As a place 

That you look with pride

Loving each room 

and the people in ride.”

 

Finally I must say my family is the unit of society. The socio-culture situation of the society has it is reflection in the family. Families with there small effort can change the scenario of society by large.    

 

 

Dr. Fouzia Moslem is Chief Medical Officer of the Institute of  Nuclear Medicine,

Bangladesh Atomic Energy Commission, Dhaka